When I was living in darkness I was afraid of the light and the One that all light comes from. I was afraid of God and that fear came from my shame – my shame separated me from God .
I thought that the way that I was living meant that God would want have to have nothing to do with me and so I ran from him. I had a certain idea of who God was and I felt I did not deserve him – that God was disappointed with me. The way I was living ultimately chased me into Alcoholics Anonymous and it took a while but at some point I realized that God was hiding in plain sight, waiting for me there along with my other brothers and sisters. They were all thrilled that I had come home!
So today I know that when our book tells us that there is one power that there is one who has all power that one is God may you find him now, I know that he is and always has been right there with me. He always will be so long as I am willing to reach out to him.
I know today that he is not the source of condemnation and shame but the solution to my shame. I know that God is love and love is all that matters. If I live in love I live with God and when I do that I choose to live like it says on page 25 of the Big Book. In the solution I choose to live in a spiritual experience with God and when I do that I find much of heaven right now.
Today heaven is not an exit strategy it’s a way of life that we can choose to embrace.
What a gift! Thank you Lord!